Upsets
by fringeperson
Summary: DO NOT OWN. You're not gonna believe this. The moment Shizuru stepped out as the substitute for the final round, things began to change... Very crack - don't take it too seriously. COMPLETE. contains yoai and implied smutty bits.
1. Chapter 1

Shizuru sighed as she walked down the empty corridor towards the ring, hands shoved into the pockets of her slacks. This really sucked, but she knew the alternatives and really... any of them would have been worse. Speaking of, there was Koenma, about to make an entrance as the team's substitute. She quickly grabbed his shoulder.

"Get back up into your box you idiot, you don't even know how to fight," she told him. "I got this one covered."

"Shi- Shizuru!"

"Yeah, now scram," she told him, a flat, unimpressed look on her face.

"Since it is the final round and neither team has used its substitution, you must have five or your team will forfeit!" Jury was saying from the centre of the ring.

"That's really interesting," Shizuru said as she walked out. "Since I have seen five different combatants on this team since the first round, but never more than those four to that team. I'm kinda surprised that they haven't been disqualified already for that little technicality."

"Hey Sis what are you doing here?"

"I'm the substitute," she stated bluntly before locking eyes with Urameshi. "Final request from Genkai before Botan took her off to Spirit World, and don't even think of losing your temper with me, either of you two."

"I'd asked Koenma..." he said quietly.

"You asked someone who can't fight," she growled, "so shut up and get over it."

"Substitute huh? So a member of your team is dead?" Jury demanded. "That's in the rules you know, can't substitute unless a team member is dead."

"Stop using that word will ya?" Yusuke growled.

"Don't mind him, he's in denial. Yeah, Genkai was killed by the Mister Toguro the other night, outside of the tournament," Shizuru answered flatly.

"So we're just waiting for a fifth team member for Team Toguro. If they can't find one then they will be forced to forfeit the match and it will be called off and that's not good!" Jury said, now looking over at the Toguros.

"That's all you had to say, our reserve team member is always happy to join us when required," the younger, larger Toguro brother said.

The doors behind the team ground open once again, admitting the last member of the team.

Shizuru frowned to see the guy who had saved her neck a couple of times already during the tournament walk out. Figured, too good to be true really was.

"Can you even fight pretty boy?" yelled a demon from the stands.

"I have no intention of fighting. Granted my presence allows Toguro to continue fighting, I will stake my life on the match being over before my turn comes to fight," Sakyo answered, smiling smugly.

"So you really aren't that great," Shizuru said across the ring, scowling.

He startled to see her. Apparently he hadn't noticed before, and seeing her there clearly made him uncomfortable.

"A normal human woman fighting, Urameshi?" Sakyo demanded softly.

"Her idea, not mine," he growled back.

"And you know what? I want to fight first," Shizuru said, getting up onto the raised fighting ring.

"Shizuru are you nuts?" Kazuma yelled, terrified for his sister. "You'll get pulverised!"

"I'll do better than you baby brother," she said glancing down at him. "So?" she called to the other team. "Which of you big strong men isn't afraid to fight a girl?"

"Well, I _had_ wanted to fight against Kurama, but you are even more interesting," Karasu said, leaping gracefully onto the stage. "I will fight you."

"Figures that the girliest guy would be the only one brave enough," Shizuru scoffed gently.

"So the first match will be between Shizuru Kuwabara and Karasu. Begin!" Jury declared.

Karasu flew in, gently stroking a hand over Shizuru's arm before disappearing again.

Shizuru grabbed at something that was at her shoulder – though no one could see what – and flung it out in what happened to be the direction where Karasu was landing.

Whatever it was, it exploded before it reached the dark figure.

"I am impressed," Karasu said.

"I am not an idiot," Shizuru answered. "Are you going to keep it up with the stupid little bombs, or are you actually going to fight me? Yes, I _can_ see them."

Karasu was surprised. No one had ever been able to see his bombs before, not unless they wielded tremendous power, but he could barely feel any coming from this human woman.

"No attack?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. "Fine, then I guess it's my turn!"

Karasu was shocked to see the woman running at him, and summoned flying bombs all around her, expecting her to hit them and be blown up before she reached him.

Shizuru ducked and dodged around them, occasionally grabbing one and hurling it towards others behind her. He blinked and she was in his face, connecting her fist to his jaw and slamming her knee into a very soft place that hurt very much.

After that, the pain kept coming, and he couldn't concentrate for long enough to create more bombs to get her away from him. His vision started to blur and he felt a heavy impact to his side before his head hit something hard.

"Start the count," Shizuru said calmly. She wasn't even breathing hard despite the pummelling she had given to the famously terrifying Karasu.

"Oh, r-right..." Jury said, stuttering. "1, 2, 3, 4,"

Karasu began to lift his pounding head, raising a hand to cradle it against the pain.

"5, 6, 7, 8," Jury continued, watching the fighter attempt to stand. He was unlikely to make it back into the ring in just two counts judging from the way he was leaning heavily against the wall to remain upright. "9, and 10! Winner is: Shizuru!"

She smirked, looking down at the rest of team Toguro, before giving them a condescending wave and turning back to 'her' team.

"Hey, wait up, that was amazing, how does it feel to be a young woman in a male-dominated arena?" Jury asked.

"Liberating, but you can have the full interview after the Tournament is over," Shizuru answered.

"Oh, right,"Jury said, drawing herself back to her role in the ring.

"In an unprecedented display of girl-power and sheer, unerring, unending force, Shizuru, the substitute for Team Urameshi, has pounded the previously undefeated Karasu into the ground! I want lessons in how to kick ass from this human," Koto yelled happily. "The bone-crunching, the lumps, the bruises, the un-salvageable ego crushing. I do love it when there is serious pain, and I love it even more when it has been delivered by a woman like this one. Who knew that Team Urameshi had such an ace up their sleeve?"

Shizuru hopped down onto the dirt and pulled out her box of cigarettes, slipping one of the white sticks between her lips before returning the box to it's pocket.

"That was impressive," Kurama said.

"It makes me wonder how the moron didn't turn out better," Hiei added, summoning a very small flame to light the cigarette for the woman.

"HEY!" Kazuma objected.

"Since when, exactly, have brothers ever listened to their sisters without serious bribery or blackmail involved?" she asked the short demon, raising an eyebrow at him.

"What are you implying?" Hiei asked as Kurama moved to take the next opponent – Bui.

"I'm implying that when Yukina says she wants to find her brother, you're an idiot for lying to her," Shizuru answered firmly.

Kurama had transformed into his yoko form almost as soon as his fight with Bui began – Shizuru had apparently taken the perfect amount of time to pummel Karasu – and he had deadly plants wrapping the strong man up tightly, eating him rapidly, occasionally dropping parts of him from its grip, only to be snatched up by another plant.

"I never knew botany could be so deliciously gruesome!" Koto cried excitedly into her microphone.

"How do you know?" he hissed.

"I watched the mission tape from Koenma," she stated. "Baby brother charged off to the rescue without seeing the whole thing, but you yourself acknowledged that I'm the smarter sibling."

"And yet you left Karasu alive, and now he not only wants to kill Kurama, he wants to kill you as well," Hiei pointed out while Kurama withdrew his plant from the now empty armour that Bui had worn.

"Well then, how about you accidentally roast him during your fight?" she suggested casually, drawing on her cigarette. "Killing bystanders is very easy in this tournament after all, especially when someone has your level of destructive power."

The fire demon growled and stalked towards the ring, checking on Kurama quietly before jumping up himself.

"Oh goody," the elder Toguro said, leaping up himself. "I like a challenge."

"And begin!" Jury announced.

"I suggest you stand well clear," Hiei advised the girl, leaping up at the last second as his opponent's fingers shot out like Kurama's plants.

"Don't have to tell me twice!" she yelped, running for cover.

"Hiei seemed put out about something," Kurama observed to Shizuru, still standing taller than her in his yoko form, having also dispatched his opponent in a short time. "And it wasn't just his unjustified concern for me. What did you say to him?"

"I said he was an idiot for not being truthful to Yukina," Shizuru answered, not intimidated by the awesome amounts of spirit energy coming from the silver fox. "And will you either plant something in Karasu now or stop eyeing him up?" she demanded softly.

Kurama chuckled. "Yes, you're right."

"Usually am," she agreed, smirking up at the demon.

Kurama flicked a tiny seed away from himself in the direction of the defeated Karasu. "The more he uses his energy, the faster it will kill him," Kurama explained quietly, smirking back down at the woman who was taller than him when he was human.

"Nice trick," she observed.

Kurama nodded, and felt his time run out.

"Welcome back Shuichi," Shizuru said almost happily. "Not that you went anywhere of course."

Kurama chuckled at that.

"Duck!" Shizuru called out to the team suddenly, planting herself as flat against the earth as she could.

Yusuke, Kurama and her brother all went down flat, following her example, just as a black flame rushed over them, screaming.

"I think he either didn't aim properly, or Hiei's really got it out for us," Kazuma grumbled.

"It's neither little bro," Shizuru said. "He's got a tough opponent, so he's got a dangerous plan to match. Stay down dammit!"

"We've all seen the destructive force of Hiei's dragon of the darkness flame before, and while it looks like the elder Toguro brother didn't survive this any better than the previous victims, Hiei has also been swallowed by the dragon!" Koto called into her microphone.

"Guess again," Hiei's voice rang out, his form appearing far above the ring and dropping quickly. A quick flip had him landing safely on his feet, and he proudly presented the dragon tattoo upon his arm. "I have merely performed the deed required to completely master the darkness flame."

"Well, wow folks, you've seen it here first! Hiei allowed himself to be swallowed by his own attack in order to completely master the move! Now that's what I call dedication," Koto announced, then called out to her co-host who was supposed to be in the ring, "Jury, it's safe for you to come back in now! We need you to give the official verdict."

"Winner by death is Hiei!" Jury announced after a quick look around at the destruction.

"Okay, you can get up now," Shizuru told the boys, standing herself. "And Kurama, I think if you keep taking that stuff, you'll end up not actually needing it."

The red head stared at her a moment before smiling slightly.

Koto jumped out of her booth and stood with Jury.

"Winner of the Dark Tournament is Team Urameshi!" the two declared together, gesturing to the group who were brushing the dirt, ash and ... anything else... off their clothes. The audience didn't much seem to like the idea.

"Well, he was right anyway, though not the way he expected I'm sure," Shizuru commented. "The tournament was over before it got to his fight."

Sakyo wasn't the only one frowning though, of the three left on Team Toguro. Or perhaps two; Karasu was badly burned from Hiei's attacks, and attempting to use his energy to restore himself, only to find his levels dropping every time he tried to pull them up. He would probably be dead shortly.

"I wanted to fight Urameshi," the large man stated in his deep voice. "I am most disappointed that this is declared over before I am given that chance."

"You're not the only one pal!" Yusuke yelled. "How about we give it a go anyway, since we've all got the time?"

"Um, Koto? What's the ruling on this? The tournament is won, but they still want to fight," Jury asked.

"Every member of the winning team gets any request they want fulfilled," Koto answered tentatively.

"What? Why the hell didn't anyone tell us that sooner?" Yusuke demanded.

"Generally because no special guest team has ever made it this far before, so why bother?" Koto explained. "You guys caused one heck of an upset, and I have to say, I loved every painful moment of it!"

"Then I want the life of Genkai restored," Kazuma growled. "Her being killed at the tournament, during the tournament, but not within the tournament, just completely reeks."

"Well, every member of the team gets to make an individual request," Koto allowed, "which the committee is obliged to fulfil."

Shizuru smirked. "Kazuma wants Genkai back and Yusuke wants a piece of the guy who killed her," she said, drawing a last breath from her smoke before dropping it on the ground and stamping it out. "I think that's pretty straightforward, don't you?"

"Well... yeah, I guess. Alright all you fans of pain, you heard her! We get to watch at least one more fight today! It's going to be Yusuke Urameshi versus _the_ Toguro! Let's hope it's got all the things we have come to expect from these two awesome fighters!"

"Come on guys, before they bring down the building," Shizuru murmured to them, giving them all a nudge in the direction of the door.

"Nu-uh Sis, I'm staying to watch!" Kazuma insisted, planting himself.

"Fine, someone will need to help Yusuke get his butt out of here anyway," she allowed.

"Shizuru?" Kurama asked as they headed into the corridor behind the doors, leaving the building while it still stood enough for them to get out. "What about your request? Koto did say that we would all get one."

"Well, provided the bookies pay up when I go to collect, I'll have my small fortune, so apart from wanting you two to be honest about all your stupid secrets," she said pointedly, leaving it hanging there as she shrugged and walked off like there was nothing in the world she wanted. No way she was going to tell them she wanted a piece of Sakyo. It wouldn't help anything, and maybe if she would just leave it there, they would get the hint.

~oOo~

Hiei and Kurama had decided to come clean to each other, and Kurama to his human mother as well, shortly after the incident with Sensui, and Yusuke's becoming a demon of the Mazoku line. They were mated before the messages from Yomi and Mokuro arrived, though it was kept very much a secret. After all, they were both very aware of the many enemies they had, the various possibilities of being used against the other.

It was torturous for them both to be separated for the strategic advantage, but they knew that it had to be done, and had simply, perhaps foolishly, relied on Yusuke. Of course, relying on Yusuke to be his own self was probably the only sensible thing to rely on him for, and that was exactly what they did.

The Demon Tournament was the pay-off, and they spent many night together, no one the wiser, despite Hiei's pleasured cried and Kurama's pleased groans.

"What if we have to fight?" Hiei asked his mate one night. The preliminaries, as well as the first round, were already passed.

"Pretend that we cheated on each other with Shizuru?" Kurama suggested, not wanting to think about the possibility just now.

"Very funny Kurama," Hiei answered, clearly not amused.

"Your sword to my whip until one of us is too exhausted to continue," Kurama corrected himself, more serious this time. "I hope it will not come to that, however, unless it is in the very final battle."

Hiei agreed.

They were both glad, however, that they did not have to fight each other at any point during the Tournament.

When Hiei returned to Human World with Kurama, he told Yukina the truth.

~oOo~

"Hey, I told ya didn't I? Three years, I'll come back, and then we'll get married," Yusuke said as he walked with Keiko down the beach. "Here I am, one whole year ahead of schedule, and you know why?"

Keiko shook her head, but smiled. "No, but I'm really glad you are."

Yusuke smiled softly at the girl who was leaning against him as they walked, and gladly wrapped an arm around her. "I'm back so that I can get me a regular job, and I'll probably trade off some of the treasure I picked up in demon world, buy us a house, and that wedding ring."

"Oh Yusuke!" Keiko cried, tears forming over her eyes as she looked up at him.

"You thought I wasn't serious!" Yusuke accused gently.

"You _have_ been saying you'll marry me since we were kids," Keiko pointed out.

"So I felt the need to remind you a few times while we were growing up. I was serious even back then," Yusuke answered. "So, you pick the house and decide what sort of wedding you want, I'll do the rest."

Keiko wrapped her arms around Yusuke happily, burying her face in his chest and crying happily.

"I love you Keiko."

"I love you too, you big idiot."

~oOo~

Yusuke was not amused when one of the wedding guests screamed, but turning to tell them off for upsetting the ceremony, he realised that he couldn't really blame her. Botan, despite being a reaper under Koenma, really still wasn't used to all the crazy shit he'd been immersed in for the last few years. Guys in black robes with red clouds on wasn't part of your usual Demon World go-around, especially since this one smelled distinctly human, but random guys covered in blood? Yeah, that he was kinda used to.

"He just _appeared_ in a puff of smoke!" the blue-haired woman exclaimed, her pink eyes wide with shock and fright as she stared at the bloody man who had landed over her and Jin.

"Can we hurry this up?" he asked the priest officiating the ceremony. "Only I don't want to rain-check getting married to Keiko any more, and frankly that guy looks like he needs help."

The old man nodded, his eyes wide with shock as he ran off the incantations and blessings as quickly as he could before gesturing for them to sign the register.

"So Keiko, now you're a Urameshi," he murmured to her quietly as they walked down the aisle together.

"About time," she answered him cheekily. "So are we helping this guy?" she asked, stopping when they reached Botan and Shizuru, who had carried the stranger to the back of the shrine and started assessing his injuries.

"Sounds like it might be a good plan," Yusuke answered, and squatted down to get a better look at him.

Apart from the black coat with red clouds, and the large amounts of blood, the guy had black hair tied in a ponytail and a scratched up headband.

"Hey Kuwabara," Yusuke called. "You've started studying medicine right?"

Kuwabara ran up to the group that was congregating around the stranger and pushed his way through. "Yeah, and Yukina's really good at healing too."

Yusuke nodded and picked up the bloody stranger, heading out of the shrine and towards the main building of Genkai's property. The old hag wasn't really up for travelling these days, and she was dedicating her land to be a safe area for demons in Human World, so getting married in the shrine she had on her property had been perfect. Everyone of his demon pals had come, as well as Keiko's human friends and their mutual Spirit World buddies.

"Anyone have any idea who it could be?" Botan asked as she watched Yusuke go, followed by Kuwabara, Yukina and Keiko.

"Nope, but he feels like he's got some fair amount of interesting energy to him," Jin spoke up, frowning as he watched his pal go.

"What do you mean?" Botan asked. Reaper she may be, but energy-sensitive she really wasn't.

"It's not your regular, pure spirit energy like what Urameshi had back at the Dark Tournament," Chu explained. "But it sure ain't demon energy either, an' the poor bludger's got somethin' mighty powerful in him."

~oOo~

Genkai watched as the stranger was stripped so that Kuwabara and Yukina could have better access to his wounds. When a plethora of weapons was found on his body, and in a couple of cases, _in_ his body, she took them out to the group of curious demons and junior god who were waiting for the verdict in the next room.

"Blimey, where'd yeh get _them_ toys?" Jin asked, his blue eyes widening at the sight of all the sharp, pointy objects.

"More prominent to ask where our mystery guest got them," Genkai answered. "Though I'm going to guess that some of them came from whoever beat him up," she added, pointing out the blood that was on some of the weapons.

Touya reached out and picked up an item that looked like a four-pointed star made of metal, a hole in the middle and all the edges very sharp.

"I know what these are," he said, passing it over to Jin so that he could look as well. "I've seen them before. These are the weapons of the human shinobi who live on the mainland."

Genkai's frown deepened slightly.

"They combine their physical energy with their spiritual energy to create something else, which they call chakra," the ice master continued. "They also use weapons like these," he added, gesturing to the pile of blood-stained steel before them.

"I've been getting some disturbing reports from the mainland," Koenma admitted, reaching out himself to have a closer look at one of the larger items – something with a clear handle. "I don't like the timing."

"Well, if it's a shinobi job then you can count on me to help out," Jin said.

"Is it okay if we wait until this guy is on his feet again before we go?" Yusuke suggested, folding his arms. "I'm sure it's an emergency and all, but if we can get any information from him about where we're going, then that would probably be helpful."

Hiei looked over at Yusuke and smirked. "Amazing Detective, you're actually starting to use your head for something besides as a last-resort weapon."

Despite the solemn mood, everybody managed to crack a smile, smirk or even a chuckle at the fire demon's keen observation.

~oOo~

Itachi didn't know where he'd transported to with that justu, all he knew was that it was designed to take him somewhere safe. Even if he was somewhere safe though, he'd have just as soon kept all of his weapons. He knew they had taken his kunai holster, and the weight of his sword at his hip was gone too, as was his shuriken pouch. Hell, even his headband, sandals and cloak were gone.

Not that he had looked to see, he was going blind, looking was doing him less and less good. He hadn't even opened his eyes yet, better to feign sleep while he tried to figure this out. He could feel the absence of his weapons though, and it worried him slightly.

"About time," a female voice grumbled from his left. "He's awake!" the same voice called out, as though to others. Of course to others.

Well, so much for pretending to be asleep. Itachi opened his eyes, not expecting the action to make any difference to his view. He was very surprised when it did. There was a cream coloured ceiling above him, with dark wooden beams through it, and sunlight streaming in gently through a gap in a paper screen to his right.

"Well hello there," the voice, the same female voice as before, came from his left, and he looked.

Blue hair and pink eyes? Then again, he'd worked with shark-boy for so long, so who was he to judge a strange appearance.

"We've all been worried about you since you showed up," the strange woman said with a frown, scolding him.

"Not to mention the way lassie screamed when you just popped out of smokin' nowhere – _Poof!_ - and landed across my lap and hers," another voice added. Male this time, and Itachi turned to see a very tall man with masses of red hair and – was that a horn on his head? "And in the middle of Urameshi's weddin' too! Kinda rude if ye ask me, but considerin' the state you were in I'd say you didn't have much of a choice at the time."

"Uh ..." Itachi stammered, staring up at the strange horned man.

"Jin, sometimes you talk too fast," said another voice, calmer, and coming from a more regular height.

The red head – Jin – turned and Itachi was able to see a crowd of other people behind him.

"Feelin' alright pal?" asked a young man wearing tight blue pants and a white top. He had a different voice to the one who he hadn't seen talk, but he seemed friendly.

"I would like my weapons back," Itachi answered. "But my injuries," he looked down at the bandages he had felt wrapped around nearly every part of him, "feel much better than the last time I was conscious enough to feel them."

"Great, and your stuff is in that cupboard," the man said, jerking his thumb at the wooden item Itachi hadn't previously spotted, and walked into the room. "I don't think you're quite up to using any of it just yet though," he added as he sat down.

"Yusuke!" a new female voice called out, causing the man to turn. Itachi saw a young woman with long brown hair and bright brown eyes, hands on her hips. "Have you even introduced yourself yet?"

"Oops," the man chuckled, knocking himself on the head and sticking his tongue out. Turning back to Itachi, the man smiled. "I'm Yusuke Urameshi, we got here Botan, Jin, Touya, my lovely wife Keiko, those two are Kuwabara and Yukina, who fixed you up, Genkai who owns this place, the guy with Jr on his forehead is Koenma, the kid is Rinku and the big guy with the booze and the bright blue hair is Chu," the apparently named Yusuke said, indicating each of the individuals as he named them.

"Itachi Uchiha," he answered, taking in names and surprised to find that none of them used chakra, though he hid his reaction as best he could.

"You forgot someone Detective," a voice called, coming from above.

"Well, I didn't know if you were still hanging about here Hiei," Yusuke said, smiling as he looked up at a tree. "Kurama with you?"

"He will be here shortly," the voice, owner yet unidentified, answered.

"Well are you coming down or not shorty?" the one identified as Kuwabara called out.

"Hn, you oaf," answered the voice, and suddenly Kuwabara was face down in the dirt and a young man who reminded Itachi of his precious little brother was walking away from the tall carrot-top and towards him. "It seems I have good timing," the black-clad stranger said.

"Yeah, who knew he'd be out a week solid? So Hiei, how is everything in Demon World?" Yusuke asked.

"Demons?" Itachi demanded, wondering what sort of safe place had demons in it.

"I think Detective, that you failed to mention a few things when you conducted that introduction of yours," the one called Hiei said.

Yusuke grinned widely and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess I did."

~oOo~

"So you're demons, and you're not only _not_ going to kill me, but you saved my life?" Itachi asked.

Jin and Yusuke grinned broadly, while Hiei and Kurama smirked quietly.

"You bet! And I'd like to clarify that I'm actually human," Kuwabara said, sticking his chest out and thumping it proudly.

"So anyway, Koenma says you've got some trouble back on the mainland," Kurama said, leaning forward to engage in conversation with Itachi.

"Mainland? Uh... Well, there's always fighting, and at the moment Orochimaru is causing a lot of trouble," Itachi answered, unsure what they meant by mainland, having never gone beyond the elemental countries.

"So would this Orochimaru guy be the one ripping people's souls from their bodies and using them to extend his own life?" Yusuke asked, suddenly serious.

Itachi's jaw dropped. Was there something wrong with him that he went from laughing to serious in the time it took to blink? And ... "How did you know about that?" Itachi asked.

"Probably should have explained about Koenma a bit better," Yusuke said, folding his arms and looking up at the ceiling, like he was considering something. "Basically, pacifier-breath is in charge of assigning who gets what after they've died. You know, heaven, hell, reincarnation and so on, as well as keeping an eye on demon activity in Human World."

"Yusuke used to be a Spirit Detective, someone who actually does the leg-work of keeping the demons in line when they're in human world, but when he became a demon, he was removed from the position," Keiko said, catching the conversation and adding to it as she brought in a tray of food for the boys to share. "There's more coming, don't worry," she assured the wind apparition when his jaw dropped at the amount of food.

"Well that's a grand thing then, cause I could eat all that meself with no trouble," he answered seriously as he reached for one of the burgers and shoved the whole thing into his mouth at once.

"Anyway, we'll be going back with you and getting the mess cleared out," Yusuke said, grabbing one of the burgers himself and taking a bite out of it. "Me, Jin, Hiei and Kurama that is, Kuwabara's got school, and I don't want anything happening to Keiko if there's someone snatching souls and stuff."

"I warn against it. I do not believe that any of you would stand a chance against the shinobi," Itachi said, frowning himself as he looked at the burgers, but not reaching for one.

"Oi now hold up there boyo, I _am_ a shinobi," Jin said firmly. "Per'aps not like you're used to seein', but I reckon it's your shinobi pals as want to be watchin' out for us."

"I agree," Hiei said darkly. "Do not judge us when you have only seen us in casual surroundings."

Kurama smiled a small, hard smile. "Regardless of your recommendation, we will be accompanying you, and deal appropriately with this Orochimaru character."

Yusuke grinned hugely. "And if we get a good fight along the way, so much the better!"

"Aye!" Jin agreed, smiling again now himself.

Keiko came with more food at that moment, rice balls this time, which Itachi did eat some of.

~oOo~

Itachi nearly bolted when he saw the transport they would be taking to get back to his home country, but shinobi did not run, even from giant blue birds with intelligent brown eyes. When the giant bird started to nuzzle Urameshi and chirped "Puu!" happily, Itachi decided that it would be a shame on his clan to run from such a creature. It was no fearsome Kyuubi. It actually didn't seem dangerous at all, apart from its size of course.

"Hey little buddy, you up for carrying us to the mainland?" Yusuke asked the bird, stroking his head. "Yeah, course you are. Well, everybody on."

Hiei and Kurama jumped up easily, surprising Itachi, as he was sure they had no chakra to aid them in that jump, and it was higher than could be reached without some sort of extra help.

"I'll fly on my own wind Urameshi," Jin insisted with a smile. "Don't you be worryin' about me none."

Yusuke nodded. "Just waiting for you then Itachi," he said as he swung himself up and offered a hand to the ninja.

Itachi grabbed the hand, aware that his injuries were not fully healed yet, and was therefore forced to accept help. He was surprised that Yusuke pulled him all the way up without any apparent effort. Even a shinobi disliked lifting a whole other person by one arm, and Yusuke wasn't as obviously muscular as the perpetually shirtless Jin.

"Alright Puu, let's go!" Yusuke declared, clearly excited about the whole thing.

Itachi, however, couldn't help but worry, at least a little bit. After all, he was being escorted back home, where he had been nearly killed, by a collection of people who claimed to be demons. The chances of everything going smoothly, in his mind, were dropping rapidly.

~oOo~

Jin was almost having too much fun. The feeling of the air in the big, blue and open felt so good to him. It smelled fresher than the wind in Demon World, and here he was, flying through it, with his pal Urameshi, and Hiei and Kurama as a bonus, on their way to what could be a jolly fight. If the human shinobi were even half-way up to what Touya said they were, then it would surely be interesting at the very least.

It wasn't long before they'd crossed the lovely blue and green below, and were over land again.

"So, where are we most likely to find this Orochimaru bastard?" Yusuke asked loudly, and Jin heard him over the rushing of the air.

"If you can't spot a giant snake somewhere to target, then I'd say somewhere in the Sound Village," Itachi answered, also yelling to be heard over the rushing air.

"I don't see any snakes," Kurama called.

"Neither do I," Hiei added.

"I can see a quite few big open spaces with lot's o' houses in though, with what's probably a great biggie of a wall around each one of 'em," Jin added, using his wind to fly up beside Puu.

"Alright Puu, let's go down! Pick a walled-in pile of bricks and we'll start there!" Yusuke yelled up to his bird.

Puu, for his part, made a great and somewhat intimidating noise that managed to sound cheerful despite that, and began his descent.

~oOo~

They weren't even on the ground yet, and whoever was down there was attacking them. Itachi looked over Puu's shoulder, down at the shinobi he expected to see below. The headbands were like his own, except that they weren't scratched through like his was.

"Welcome to Konoha," Itachi groaned. "Not entirely good history with giant animals, not entirely good history with me, but generally nice folks. As with most ninja however, paranoid about being attacked," he informed them.

"Hey! Cut that out would ya!" Yusuke yelled down, standing up and taking hold of Puu's neck, clearly visible to the people below. "We just want to land dammit!"

Hiei scoffed when the humans below cut off their attacks in visible shock. "As always Detective, you have a way with words like no one else."

"Aw, thanks Hiei," Yusuke said, rubbing his nose and smirking.

Puu touched down on the ground, as did Jin behind him. Kurama and Hiei jumped down, while Yusuke helped Itachi slide down and off Puu's back.

"So, Konoha you said?" Yusuke queried as he helped the injured man around the bird to face the many Konoha shinobi. "So which way from here to where we're going?"

"North, unless Orochimaru is moving," Itachi answered.

"Itachi!" a male voice yelled, clearly angry. "Are you taking test subjects to Orochimaru! I never thought so low of you, even when you -"

"Kakashi-senpai, I would appreciate it if you didn't make judgements at this time, particularly without all of the information," Itachi called back, his eyes searching the crowds of ninja for his old friend. How convenient that he was pushing his way to the very front of the shinobi.

"Without all the information? You killed your family!" Kakashi yelled, the single quarter of his face clearly more than just angry.

"What's that?" Yusuke asked, stepping away from Itachi with a questioning gaze.

"I was under orders. If I hadn't, then my whole stupid family would have taken over the village. Damn power-hungry father and stupid elders," Itachi ground out. He really wished he could erase that part of his life.

"Kill a few for the sake of the greater good huh?" Yusuke asked, still clearly not pleased with learning this, but Jin's hand on his shoulder, and the sad look on the normally happy demon's face, stopped him from going any further. "Fine, whatever, it's your wrap-sheet not mine. So Jin, what do you think of these human shinobi?" Yusuke kinda wanted to get off the subject himself.

Jin smiled a little and, with a last pat on Yusuke's shoulder, went over to look Kakashi up and down and all around, as he was the foremost of the shinobi they had just met.

"I'll say this for 'em, they're in a damn sight better condition than our boyo Itachi was when he appeared with that poof in me lap at your wedding Urameshi. Don't know about those tricks they were pullin' while we were comin' down though. Think it must be maybe it's that whiz-bang chakra stuff Touya was talkin' about afore ya know. Eh look at this lads! I can see they've got their women-folk all trained up too! Now if that ain't a right kick in the pants to a fellow's pride of being able to protect his lovelies then I don't know what is, but I tell ya they sure seem to look pretty and hey hey! I know that stuff they're wearin', same armour as Touya's pretty under-shirt, the tight one, ye might remember. Not bad stuff it is, but itches against me like ya wouldn't believe," Jin said, finally pausing as he scratched a phantom itch on his left shoulder blade with a frown.

Hiei smirked, while Kurama chuckled softly and Yusuke laughed openly, not loudly, but obviously. It was great that, after spending enough time listening to him talk, he was finally able to understand _all_ of what Jin was saying when he was going at a mile a minute.

"What did he say?" Itachi asked.

"He said that they're not too shabby, add that if women are fighting then what is he fighting for, and that he doesn't like wearing your armour shirts because they itch," Yusuke summarised with a smile.

"Why didn't he just say so?" Kakashi asked, his single visible eye bugging slightly at the man who was even taller and more obviously muscular than him and... had a horn on his head?

"I thought I did," Jin said, surprised, blinking his great big blues innocently.

"These guys just aren't used to you running your mouth at a mile a minute Jin, that's all," Yusuke said with a smile.

"But we're getting away from our reason for being here," Kurama interrupted politely. "I believe there's someone we came to collect for Spirit World."

"Yes, this Orochimaru," Hiei added, looking at the various gathered shinobi who were still standing around.

"Interesting way to put something," Kakashi said, then turned to the other ninja. "I'd say the situation here is secure, report to the Hokage," he instructed, "and someone get Naruto and Sakura out here!" he added as the rest of the ninja turned and started back into the walls of their village.

"I'm surprised that they weren't in the initial welcoming party, if the rumours I hear about them are even half true," Itachi said quietly as he sat down, using Puu's side to support himself as he moved slowly towards the ground. He was, after all, still injured.

"Sakura was preparing the hospital in case of heavy damage from our unknown threat here, and Naruto was moving kids to the safety bunkers," Kakashi explained, walking over to the young man who had been his friend a long time ago. "Naruto has been making provisions for if the Kyuubi ever gets out, so this was a good practice, if nothing else."

Itachi nodded. "Sorry about the secrets and the pain Senpai."

"What's going on? Oh... Kami..." a female voice, one that had to belong to the pink haired young woman who had been running towards them, demanded before it trailed off, in awe or fear, even she wasn't entirely sure.

"Ah, Sakura. It seems that Itachi is actually not an enemy of Konoha, and in need of your refined and gentle touch," Kakashi said, clearly very happy to see the cherry blossom, if still somewhat reluctant to gesture her on towards Itachi.

"If you don't mind, Hiei isn't the most patient and Yusuke's attention span is short. We really do need to find this Orochimaru person quickly," Kurama said, getting the attention of Kakashi while Sakura went to work finishing the healing that had been started on Itachi's wounds by Yukina and Kuwabara.

"You still need more rest," she warned him, a fierce glint in her green eyes before she stood up and joined the conversation. "Orochi-bastard is in Fire right now. The prick wants to kill Naruto and release the Kyuubi."

"You keep talking about Kyuubi," Kurama said, confused. Surely they weren't talking about his cousin.

"Fox demon, nine tails, fire-affiliated and last time I checked, still very bad tempered," a blond said as he jogged up to join the group. "So, what's going on and why is Itachi-teme sitting there?"

That... sounded disturbingly like his cousin. Kurama would have to investigate that further before they went back to Japan.

"You're very calm about this Naruto," Kakashi said suspiciously. "Normally you'd be flying off the handle by now."

"Still in keep the kids calm mode, let me rephrase," Naruto said as he stopped and looked around at the group. "Who the hell wants to know about the Kyuubi and why haven't we killed this bastard yet?" he demanded in his usual way, pointing at Itachi for the second half of his mini-rant.

~oOo~

"You're all crazy! I think I like you," Naruto said, very surprised with the explanation he had received but generally pleased. "And yeah, Orochimaru-sicko is in probably still in Fire, unless Kabuto-bastard has managed to get him back to Sound already."

"Sakura, Naruto, will you both help Itachi into the village, and keep an eye on him?" Kakashi asked. "I'm going to help our new friends here kill an old enemy."

"You come back alive and in one piece Kakashi," Sakura insisted, grabbing his vest tightly for a moment and fixing her eyes on his single one. "I'll rip you to shreds myself if you don't."

"Sounds kinda like what Keiko said to me at the Dark Tournament," Yusuke said quietly to Jin.

"Oh aye? An' we all know now how that little bonnie turned out for yeh, eh Urameshi? Only went and married her you did, and just this past week," the wind shinobi answered with a chuckle.

"Yeah yeah, I just hope this mess can be sorted out real quick. Keiko wants a big family, that means starting as soon as possible," Yusuke said.

~oOo~

Kakashi wasn't exactly keen on flying, he much preferred to jump from tree to tree, but agreed that it was the quickest way, and gave directions as required.

The group landed again in a clearing not far from another walled village. By picking the distance, they were more likely to be able to get in without having a big line-up of shinobi waiting for them, which had happened with Konoha, Kakashi pointed out.

"I don't think you get it," Hiei said, smirking. "He _likes_ taking on ridiculous odds."

"Oy now, don't be forgettin', I want a first go at these here human shinobi-jobs, want to see what tricks they've got up their sleevies says I, if they've got Touya impressed enough to bother rememberin' 'em," Jin said as they all touched down.

"Yes, don't worry Jin, I don't think any of us will spoil your fun," Kurama assured the larger red head.

Jin dashed off – or rather, flew off – with a great joyous howl, letting every shinobi in the area know roughly where he was. Only roughly though, as he was travelling quite fast.

When Yusuke, Kurama, Hiei and Kakashi walked out of the tree line to see the walls of Sound, only Kakashi was utterly shocked to see Jin sitting on top of – er, _hovering a foot above_ – a great pile of unconscious Sound nin, a confused expression on his face.

"Now I'm not sure if that was fun or not," he said, looking down at the pile. "Maybe if I'd 'a' given' 'em more time to fight it could 'a' been a good one, but most of them just took their time makin' shapes with their han's. Only one of 'em even tried throwing a good-lookin' punch, an' I tell yeh I even let it land to see how it would stack up, but once a fella's been punched by Urameshi then nothin' hurts as much again. Even when I was gettin' pounded by Souketsu it didn't hurt that much except that I couldn't get up a decent defence. Right scary he is t' fight I'll give him that, but his punch had nothin' on Urameshi," Jin said, not even noticing his friends had arrived.

"I'm flattered," Yusuke called up. "But did you leave enough room between your pile here and the gate so that we can get in?"

"Ah, Urameshi! Don't be so! Of course I left room enough, I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid crazy like you were in our first fight," Jin answered fiercely, but he was smiling again as he flew down.

When they entered the gates, Kakashi took up rear position, knowing from experience that he was only just the slightest bit better of a shinobi than the four who faced them now, and from the looks of Kurama and Hiei, they wanted their turn.

Jin hovered at his side, and Yusuke stood to watch. Kurama and Hiei, predictably, drew out their fights just a little because they were curious by nature. Kurama more so than the shorter fire demon, but regardless they had that trait in common. It was interesting to see these 'jutsu' work. It did not, however, even slow down Kurama and Hiei for very long, even if they were unused to such tactics.

Hiei picked up the one shinobi who had been allowed to remain conscious, though by no means capable of anything, by the front of his shirt and used his Jagan eye to get some extra information from him.

"It seems that our prey is in," he said with a smirk, before dropping the human to the ground once more, stepping on him as he lead the way through Sound to where their target was located – according to the information he had just retrieved.

Yusuke was happy to kick down the door that had been in their way, screw the traps and anchored jutsu that tried to hit him and everybody else. Jin just blew it away, though Kurama and Hiei gave their shinobi friend a look that said they didn't need his concern. Jin just shrugged at them and indicated their new little friend with the silver hair.

"So, which one of you is Orochimaru?" Yusuke demanded. Three figures stood in the room. One with hair almost like Hiei's, another with glasses, and the tallest with strange purple markings around his eyes. "I've got orders from Spirit World to pummel you until you can't steal any more bodies."

"Sasuke, Itachi is currently in Konoha, wounded," Kakashi said, his eye fixed on his old student.

Sasuke's eyes flashed red and he was out of the room almost as fast as Hiei would have been if someone had put the word 'trouble' in the same sentence as 'Yukina'.

"Will you be explaining that?" Hiei asked quietly.

"Itachi is Sasuke's only remaining family. Lately, they have not been getting along," Kakashi answered quietly.

"So who do we have left? I still haven't gotten an answer from either of you two jokers," Yusuke demanded.

"The one with the glasses is Kabuto, who... prepares the bodies for Orochimaru I suppose you could say," Kakashi explained quickly, hate clearly visible in his single black eye.

"Oh, so it's a lovely two-for-one deal," Yusuke said, smirking as he loosened up his shoulders and cracked his neck a couple of times. "Alright then, lets do this."

~oOo~

"I want you to explain and explain quickly. Where did that snake come from?" Hiei asked as he stood with the others just behind Yusuke, their target dead at last.

"It's a summon," Kakashi said, as though that explained everything.

"Yes, but where was it summoned from?" Kurama specified. "It didn't seem like anything from Demon World, and certainly not Spirit World."

Kakashi drew a blank at that. He'd never actually concerned himself with where the summons came from, except that Pakkun occasionally complained of being 'dragged away' at a bad time.

"Well, it's case closed anyway," Yusuke said, checking himself over for anywhere the bastard or his snake might have bitten him. "Orochimaru and his body-collecting assistant are now officially toast."

Kakashi slumped a bit at the younger man's words. "I hope you're right."

Koenma called on the communication mirror at that moment.

"Congratulations Yusuke, we've now got the criminals under lock and key. Orochimaru is being sentenced to limbo. No one is going to have to worry about him for a long time."

"Nice, well then, we'll be home soon," Yusuke answered the toddler with a smirk.

~oOo~

Kurama had begged a quick stall back at Konoha, so that he could see if it was actually his cousin everybody was talking about. Kakashi had explained that the Kyuubi was sealed inside Naruto.

"I suppose there's nothing I can do then," Kurama conceded. "It would have been nice to make sure though."

"Fox, we can always come back. You cousin is likely to outlive his warden," Hiei pointed out.

Kurama nodded and they all agreed to just leave Kakashi at Konoha's gates. Thanks to flying, he had time to warn the village that Sasuke was on his way.

"Let's go home Puu," Yusuke said smiling.

~oOo~

Yusuke was greeted by a very happy Keiko when Puu landed, much to the amusement of everybody else present.

"Hey, what's all the fuss?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her happily.

"I was feeling a bit sick just after you left," Keiko started.

"Woah, are you okay? It's not something serious is it?" Yusuke asked, suddenly very worried about his girl.

"Let me finish Yusuke. Anyway, Yukina gave me a check up, and I'm pregnant," Keiko announced.

"Wha- Already! That's great, we're gonna have that huge family you've wanted since we were kids. You'll teach them to pay attention in school and I'll show 'em how to throw a punch so no one ever bullies them, and they'll all be as gorgeous as you!" Yusuke yelled, picking Keiko up and spinning her around.

Keiko laughed at him, as did many of his friends.

"You're not going to be able to do that much longer buster," she informed him once he'd put her down.

"Yeah, I know, but you're pretty tough, so I think you can handle it for at least another month yet, right?"

~oOo~

Genkai, Shizuru, Botan and Yukina helped to deliver the twins Keiko had spent the last nine months carrying, while Yusuke waited with Kuwabara, Koenma, Jin, Chu, Souketsu and his own mother – who had recently started dating the beret-wearing demon. Kurama and Hiei had disappeared not long after Keiko's announced her pregnancy, though they had promised to return at approximately when the babies were due. They hadn't given any explanation either, though that was normal for them.

It was a bit of a surprised when Hiei, Kurama and _Koto_ of all people walked through the door carrying six fox demon kits in varying shades of silver, grey and black.

"Sorry, we can't stay long, but Hiei said today was Keiko's day, so we thought it would be a good idea to stop by and see how everyone is doing," Kurama said. "And of course, to let you know how we've been doing."

"Well, if it ain't the foxy announcer-sheila," Chu said, smiling happily at her.

"Yeah, long story," she said, sitting down a but further away from the perpetually drunken fighter, careful of the kits she was holding.

"Yusuke! You get in here right now!" Keiko screamed. "I'm going to hit you into next week for getting me pregnant you jerk!"

"Actually, she want to be a mother, and she loved most of her pregnancy, this is just the hard bit," Yusuke said sheepishly to everybody as he stood and went into the other room, ready to be hit by his straining, pained wife.

~oOo~

"Here's one for you kid," Genkai said, handing over a red-skinned, screaming baby boy to Yusuke, who in turn showed it to Keiko. "And one for Keiko," she added, handing over an equally loud baby girl to her mother.

The four women who had helped Keiko with the delivery left the new parents alone, giving quiet congratulations as they closed the door behind them.

Keiko drew her daughter to her breast at once, and indicated for Yusuke to hold their boy to the other one, so that they could feed.

"Sure feels different," she said, looking down at them. "What will you name your son Yusuke?"

"Heh, not sure," he answered, scratching his nose. "All the names we thought of for these two just suddenly don't seem to fit."

"I know what you mean," Keiko agreed with a soft chuckle.

"Oh yeah, Hiei and Kurama showed up just before you yelled for me to get my butt in here," he decided to forego mentioning that they had also brought Koto and six infant fox-demons. Keiko would be able to meet them all soon enough.

"That's good, I was wondering about them. Oh, Yukina and Hiei are twins aren't they? Maybe we could name our two after them," she suggested, looking up at Yusuke, to see what he thought of the idea.

"I dunno, I guess," Yusuke answered, scratching the back of his head. "Probably need to ask Hie's permission first, since we have no idea how he'll like the idea of a human being named after him."

Keiko laughed softly. "What, they don't have any demon blood from their father?"

"Not that I can tell," Yusuke said. "Course, I'm not the best judge of stuff like that."

"Well then, go get Hiei. You can ask him about naming the twins after him and Yukina, _and_ find out if they've got their father's demon energy at the same time."

Yusuke kissed Keiko's forehead and went to do as he was told.

Hiei entered the room behind Yusuke when he returned, and immediately withdrew the white seal-cloth from his forehead, focusing his Jagan on the twins.

"Neither my name, nor Yukina's, will suit those two," he said after a moment. "Also, they do not have any demon energy. Their spirit energy is also not of particularly great proportions. Perhaps equal with Shizuru's; it is present, and stronger than the average human, but they will never become great psychics like Genkai. They've got a different energy though, not like the shinobi used either. I've only seen energy like it once before," Hiei stopped, frowning. "I suggest you pick names that will be easy for foreigners to say, Detective. They will need to be educated in Europe somewhere, I don't believe any of the neighbouring countries have a school for magic-users."

"What did you say?" Yusuke asked, dumbfounded.

"A witch, and a wizard," Keiko said, also slightly shocked as she looked down at her children.

"Unfortunately," Hiei said. "They tend to teach their children to be narrow-minded and foolish, but I suspect that we can correct this when they are not at whichever school you decide to send them to when the time comes."

"Still a bit stuck on the immediate issue of names," Keiko said, smirking slightly at Yusuke, who had still not entirely recovered from what Hiei had told them.

"I'll talk to the others," Hiei said, covering his Jagan once again and turning for the door. "By the way," he said before he left, and turned to look over his shoulder. "Congratulations, they are beautiful."

"Thank you Hiei," Keiko answered, smiling down at the two, who had by now stopped suckling and had fallen asleep.

Slowly, everyone filtered through with congratulations and name suggestions, all having been informed by Hiei that the twins would require international schooling eventually.

"How about Merle and Len?" Koto suggested when she appeared at the door. "That should annoy the wizards a bit, and they'll remember them fairly easily."

"Um, excuse me, but aren't you Koto who was the announcer at the Dark Tournament?" Keiko asked when she saw the fox girl standing in the door.

Koto chuckled. "Yeah, that's me. Don't hold anything from then against me, I just called it all as I saw it, and stuck to the rule book."

"You seemed to enjoy it very much," Keiko observed quietly.

"I like watching pain happen to others," Koto said. "We've all got a guilty pleasure, right?"

Keiko nodded. "Alright then, just don't encourage the taste in my kids," she instructed.

"Got it," Koto agreed.

"Why Merle and Len?" Yusuke asked.

"Merlin," Koto answered.

"Who?"

"The magical community reveres a guy called Merlin. He was a wizard created via immaculate conception by a minor deity called Mab. He was the most powerful wizard in history," Botan explained, having been hovering over Keiko when Koto came in. "Lived about two hundred years, very old for a human."

"I don't think that's really the right name for either of them," Keiko said at last, "but perhaps... we could call our daughter Rin, I think that's a nice name for her."

Yusuke went to pick up his baby girl, gently, and looked at her carefully. "Yeah, she's a Rin," he agreed before putting her back down.

"Well then how's abouts yeh callin' yer boy Jin?" the wind master suggested happily. "Rin and Jin, nice and easy for them lazy-tongued foreign eejits to remember, an' I reckon it's got a good ring to it as well."

Everyone laughed happily, and Yusuke picked up his son, handing him over to Keiko.

"Yeah, I think that works," she said, looking at his small face. "Rin and Jin Urameshi."

~oOo~

Rin and Jin weren't even completely potty trained before they were being given lessons in all the things their aunts and uncles believed to be of great and vital importance to any person, and they were playing with Kurama and Hiei's litter very happily all the rest of their time.

It was their second birthday when Keiko decided it was time for Yusuke to start looking at those magical schools. She would start looking at regular schools for them until that time, as well as research home education in the event something happened.

"I'll pretend to be an exchange student for a semester at the nearest one as soon as our next little one gets here, alright? I'm not leaving you alone for your pregnancy or the labour," Yusuke insisted.

Keiko smiled. "I love you Yusuke," she told him, stroking her once again swelling stomach. Yeah, pregnant again.

It was great that everyone, even Hiei, Kurama and Koto, who had six of their own to take care of – though Koto was exclusively an aunt, it had been explained to her – was so helpful with the kids as well. They were close to being spoiled rotten, except that so many of their uncles liked teaching them slightly dangerous things, even though they were only two.

One month after the twins' baby brother Kazu arrived – Kuwabara was crying with honour at having the child named after him, a choice made when Koenma had declared the boy spiritually very gifted – Yusuke kissed Keiko good-bye and promised to be back as soon as the term at this Durmstrang place was over.

~oOo~

"It's an all-boy's school," Yusuke said when he returned. "The education is alright, most every one's friendly enough, though some of the kids are more than a bit high-and-mighty about their families, but I really don't want him being taught about demons by these humans. They get way too much of it wrong," he said. "The uniform is dumb too."

"Yusuke, Jin would be here, surrounded by real demons, every holiday. He's not about to get the wrong idea surely?" Keiko asked, ignoring the uniform bit. It had never stopped Yusuke after all, and she had the feeling Jin would probably be pretty proud of his own family as well when he got old enough.

"Yeah, he could, or it would all get badly jumbled in his head and he wouldn't know what was right and wrong. Apart from that set of classes, and that it would split the twins up, the school is generally good. I'll have a look at the next one after New Years," he promised, sitting down. "I want to spend some time with my family."

Keiko didn't tell him when he left to look at Beauxbaton, but she was pregnant again. She smiled as he disappeared into the sky on Puu's back. Yusuke seemed to do that to her a lot.

~oOo~

"Well, it's the all-girl's school to go with the all-boy's one I went to before. They weren't too keen on me hangin' around, but when I explained everything they gave me an okay," Yusuke told Keiko as he sat down beside her, back from France. "Hang on a minute, Keiko?" he asked, shifting a hand to her stomach. "When did this happen? Isn't it a bit soon?"

"Just before you left Yusuke. Don't worry, everything has been fine. Look, go have fun with the kids for a while, and you can talk to me after dinner, okay?"

Yusuke nodded, and went to tumble around in the grass with his three kids, teaching them how to punch at him, and very impressed with all three of them by the time Keiko called dinner.

"I have missed your cooking," he told her earnestly as he sat down to eat.

"Where have you been this time Daddy?" Rin asked.

Yusuke locked eyes with Keiko. She nodded. They might as well tell the kids about their dad's active concern for their future education.

"Well, I went to see another school for when you get older. The seem friendly, and the stuff they're learning is really in-depth, even if it doesn't cover everything, but I suppose we could make up for that when you come back for the holidays," he said. "Another dumb uniform though, and I think being stuck up about family lineages is something at least one group of kids in every school is doing."

Keiko laughed. She knew, better than anyone, how Yusuke Urameshi felt about uniforms and people who had their noses in the air.

Yusuke didn't leave for the last school he had heard about until after both the fourth and fifth kid came along.

"Rin, Jin, Kazu, you three take care of your mother while I'm gone, and watch out for Shibi and little Genkai alright?" Yusuke told his three oldest firmly. Their littlest girl had been named after his master, who had passed away a month before Keiko went into labour with the child.

"Yes Daddy!" they all answered, smiling.

"And you take care," he said to Keiko, wrapping his arms around her and giving her a quick kiss.

"I'm the one who says that to you," Keiko answered, smiling. "Love you."

"Love you too," he answered, then jumped up onto his spirit beast.

"Yusuke," Koenma called, running up to him, stalling Puu's take off for the United Kingdom. "I've been getting reports of a powerful wizard having pulled a resurrection over there recently, and not a nice one. Be careful."

"Gotcha."

~oOo~

Yusuke walked through the door of the great hall as some toad of a woman was making a speech to four tables of students in black clothes with different coloured borders. Huh, well, he'd find out about that later. For now, everyone seemed to be looking at him suddenly. Well, he had just come in through the front door.

"Sorry I'm late, inter-continental travel is a real bitch," he said.

Puu made a noise outside, as though agreeing with him. The students didn't seem to like that they didn't know where the sound came from though.

"And who might you be sir?" asked an absolutely ancient looking man.

"Yusuke Urameshi. Don't mind me, I'm just checking out schools for my kids. I'll only be hanging around in the back of classes for about a term or so. I'll try and stay out of the way," he said, smirking slightly.

"You will excuse me, Mr Urameshi, but you don't look old enough to have children," the old man said. "In fact, you barely look old enough to have graduated from school yourself."

"Gee, thanks. I sent a letter ahead of me, and I've already visited the other two schools, so do ya mind if I just hang around a while, talk to a few people, see if I think this place is good enough?"

"Ah yes, I did. Forgive me Mr Urameshi. Of course you may," the old man said. "Students, you have tomorrow free before classes begin, I suggest that for now you all get some sleep," he added, dismissing the masses who had been watching the conversation.

As they left, Yusuke watched them go, and walked up to the table where all the grown ups were sitting.

"I am Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of the school. Would you like to be sorted into a house and share a dorm with the students, or would you rather we make separate accommodations for you?"

"Houses?" Yusuke asked. "What're they for? The other two schools didn't mention anything about it to me."

"The houses are named for the four founders of this school, and students are sorted into them based on characteristics that each of the founders valued. It's a way of encouraging friendly competition, for doing well, students gain house points, for breaking rules, they lose them," Dumbledore explained.

"Well, I'm not exactly a student, and I'd hate to be the reason a house lost points, but being lumped in with the kids for sleeping arrangements would be better," Yusuke said.

Dumbledore considered for a moment. "Perhaps if the Sorting Hat picks out which house you would belong in, and then we can arrange sleeping quarters for you there, though of course you won't be a student for house points to be awarded or removed."

"As long as all the teachers understand that," Yusuke said, looking around at the faculty before giving a shrug, "then sure."

The teachers looked dubious, but most of them nodded.

"Follow me Mr Urameshi. We'll have the Hat sort you privately, that way the teachers can't know which house you are in to consider points, if it will make you feel more assured," Dumbledore said.

Yusuke nodded, inclined his head to the people he was leaving behind, and followed the old man out.

~oOo~

The strange hat whispered in his ear, and Yusuke wasn't too sure he liked it. Apparently all the students were put into houses by this hat though, so him going through with it was a good idea, as it gave him a better insight into what it would be like here for his kids.

"Though you have done many brave things, you're really more just stupid and crazy than you are naturally brave and courageous. Not Gryffendor. You've outsmarted a lot of very clever people, but you don't much think yourself, rather stupid actually. Not Ravenclaw. You're honesty and unpredictability throws people for a loop rather than being cunning. Not Slytherin. Loyal to a fault, cares very deeply about your friends. Only one choice really, even if you're not as much of a hard worker as the rest of them," the hat said, before it turned on his head and said the magic word to Dumbledore. "Hufflepuff."

The decision seemed to surprise him, but Yusuke just shrugged. "I'm only going to be sleeping there," he pointed out.

Dumbledore nodded and led the way to the common room of the Hufflepuffs, explaining about their history along the way.

~oOo~

When Yusuke woke up on the first morning of his Hogwarts visit, he figured he probably knew more about magic than he did about maths, considering that he was actually paying attention to these classes. All for the sake of his kids.

The most immediate difference he noticed between Hogwarts and the other two schools, apart from that they had these houses, was that it was co-ed. If it had a decent standard of education, then Rin and Jin would be coming here, together, rather than having to be split up to the other two schools, where they would only see each other when they came home again.

As he let himself into the same big room with the crazy ceiling he had last night, ready for breakfast, he found himself surrounded by curious people who, in all honesty, weren't much younger than himself. It amused him no end and he laughed at a lot of their questions, answering them only occasionally, until a pair of hands clamped onto his shoulders.

"All right you little beggars, breakfast is waiting and I'm sure the bloke is hungry," said a red-head to Yusuke's immediate behind-left.

"And if you don't want to be told off by the teachers for having your stomach growling through class, you'd best get to your own eating," added an identical red-head to Yusuke's right.

Twins. He nearly laughed.

"Yusuke Urameshi, nice to meet ya," he said, turning to shake their hands before he let himself be guided over to a table full of food.

"Fred and George Weasley," said the one on the left.

"Or Forge and Gred," added the other.

"Though sometimes you get called troublemakers and are the source of all the teacher's headaches?" Yusuke suggested with a smile as he sat down between them.

They beamed widely at him.

"He's caught us out Fred."

"That he has George."

Yusuke laughed. "You two feel like giving me a tour and the low-down on the place?"

~oOo~

Harry got his first up-close encounter with Yusuke Urameshi in his first Defence Against the Dark Arts class of his fifth year. Yeah, he'd seen him burst into the Great Hall and interrupt Umbridge's speech, but he didn't meet him until the class with the ministry's spy and horribly pink-laced toad. It wasn't the first day of lessons, so he had probably been to others already with different classes, and just decided to take this one now.

There was the strange 'good morning class' bit that made Harry feel like he was in his old public school and five again, and then she just tapped instructions on the board and told them to read the first chapter of their books. How dull could it get? He was kind of surprised that Hermione didn't crack the spine of hers. He was even more surprised when Yusuke Urameshi spoke up.

"Excuse me Professor, may I ask a few questions?"

"About what, Mr Urameshi? Did you wish to borrow a book to study as well?" the toad asked.

He shook his head. "No, I was wondering if you have a back up plan for the brightsparks who have already got the textbook nearly memorised, like the young lady there," he said, gesturing to Hermione, who's book was still closed.

"Is that true, Miss Granger?" Umbridge asked, turning to her.

"Yes Professor," Hermione said.

"Then you may make efficient use of time by starting your homework," Umbridge said, with a sickly smile that was clearly supposed to be sweet, before she turned to Yusuke again. "Was that your only question Mr Urameshi?"

The strange man shook his head again. "Will you be instructing your students on the use of these defensive spells? I mean practising them and learning about assessing a situation so that you know when to use one defensive spell rather than another."

"Mr Urameshi, why should the children need to practice? If they know all of the theory then they should not need to practice," Umbridge pandered.

"You'll forgive me for not agreeing with you Professor. My understanding is that these students will be required to take an examination at the end of the year to see if they have mastered the spells they have spent the year learning. Only studying theory does not make a person a master of anything," Yusuke said. No one knew it, but he was trying his damned hardest to sound as much like Kurama as he could. "They'll never be able to defend themselves if they don't practice, and practice regularly."

"Mr Urameshi, are you expecting that my students might be attacked?" the professor asked, narrowing her eyes. Was this man actually brought here by Dumbledore to incite the children to panic and to throw down the ministry?

"Some of them look to me like they might be interested in travelling the world some day. The world, generally speaking, isn't very safe. Hell, walking down a main street isn't as safe as it used to be with the rising crime rate, and there won't always be someone else who can save you," Yusuke said. "Most of the time, actually, there won't be anyone who will want to, because they're scared too."

"You're frightening the class, Mr Urameshi," Dolores said, trying to be polite while also trying to be intimidating.

"I'd say good, but they don't look all that scared to me," Yusuke said, looking around before his brown eyes fixed on Umbridge once again. "You know all the theory for one of these defensive spells?" he asked.

She narrowed her too-far-apart eyes slightly, then nodded slowly.

"Show me one then, if you please."

She spluttered, a moment.

"I just want to make sure that this school is good enough for my children. If you can prove to me that you are right, and my concern is unjustified, then fine," Yusuke said, folding his arms and leaning against the wall.

The toad composed herself as best she could and waved her wand, muttering a word as she did so.

Nothing happened.

"May I ask another question, Professor Umbridge?" Urameshi asked, for once being tactful enough to not draw attention to the little debate he had just silently won.

"What would you like to know?" she asked.

"Before becoming a professor here, as I understand from your own introduction there has been a new teacher in this position every year, what was your job?"

"I was Senior Under-Secretary to the Minster of Magic," she answered.

"So basically, apart from being appointed by your Ministry to teach exactly what your Ministry has told you to teach – theory – you have no qualifications for this position," Yusuke said, disgust clear in his voice. "I'll bet you haven't left your cosy little office for anything dangerous since you got the job," he added, turning to go to the door. "One more thing Professor, in the event that you _need_ a defensive spell, you will not have as much time as I gave you today, and if you cannot make the spell work, then you would be dead."

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and nearly all of the class, decided in that instant that they liked this Yusuke Urameshi.

~oOo~

"I am sorry to inform you, but one of your staff is sadly incompetent," Yusuke said to Dumbledore over lunch.

"Oh dear, who?" the old man asked, surprised and even slightly concerned. He didn't want words like those reaching the Ministry's ears, not when they'd already forced him to take Dolores.

"Your Defence teacher, what was her name, Umbridge. Completely hopeless as far as I can tell. Everyone else I've met seems to know their job, even that bug-eyed woman who teaches Divination, knows more about what she's teaching than Umbridge does. Though you might suggest she ease off on whatever it is that is stinking up the room, makes it harder to concentrate," Yusuke answered.

Dumbledore sighed, relaxing visibly. "I'll be sure to do that," he said. "And I had intended a different Defence teacher, but the Ministry declared him unfit for the position and insisted I have Dolores instead."

"She's unfit for the position," Yusuke growled. "She's a paper-pusher, can't even fire off a defensive spell when she has some notice and plenty of time. I'm going to go for a walk around the grounds, if you don't mind Professor."

"The Forest is dangerous, and forbidden to students for that reason, and the lake is also off limits," he said quickly.

"Not a problem. See ya."

~oOo~

Yusuke got a message from Koenma, who had been doing a little more research into the situation where he was, shortly before the last class he intended to go to for the week.

"Yusuke, the troublemaker in question is one Tom Riddle, calls himself Voldemort. Interestingly, he's particularly after the life of one Harry Potter, who was able to avoid death in his infancy due to an old sacrifice law. His mother died to save him, and magic was involved, so saved he stayed. At least for a while anyway. Mr Riddle apparently has a long list of murders to his name, and a lot worse as well. See if you can keep an eye on things will you?" Koenma asked.

"Yeah sure, can't have whackos still hangin' around if I want to send Rin and Jin here, Keiko wouldn't be pleased," Yusuke answered. "Look, I'm going to check out another class right now, so I'll call you back if something comes up. And can you tell Keiko all that stuff for me?"

Koenma nodded. "No problem Yusuke, take care."

The screen of his communication mirror went dark, and he closed it with a snap before shoving it into his pocket.

He wandered over to a fenced off area he had been told was the Care of Magical Creatures class, and drifted towards the group of students he saw heading towards it. Whatever the animal was today, Yusuke got the feeling it had sensed him and didn't like him, but in a run-away-in-terror sort of way, rather than wanting to attack.

"I want all the boys to move back _now_, and girls, stop coming forward, something is spooking the unicorns," an older woman with close-cut grey hair said sharply.

"That'll be me," he volunteered. "Sorry about that, if I'd known you were doing unicorns, I wouldn't have bothered coming. They didn't like me when I was at Beauxbaton either."

"Mr Urameshi, wasn't it?" the professor asked.

"That's right, Professor-?"

"Grubby-Plank," she supplied. "Why do the unicorns dislike you so much Mr Urameshi? They aren't fond of men generally, but I've never seen them react like this before."

Yusuke just smiled and didn't answer, instead just stuffing his hands in his pockets and wandering away from the group of students to where he had left Puu, near a hut that bordered the forest.

"Hey buddy," he said. "I picked unicorn day again, how do you like that? Think they can smell me?" he asked the large bird.

He was going into the Hall for dinner when three kids from the class he'd upset surrounded him and started asking questions. Shaking his head, he went to what was clearly their table by the colours they were wearing, and sat down to eat and answer their questions at a more comfortable pace.

"Why don't the unicorns like you, apart from you're a boy?" the girl asked.

"What's your name?" Yusuke asked before he answered. "I saw you before, but the name didn't stick."

"Hermione Granger," she answered.

"Hermione, I honestly can only guess, as I don't speak unicorn and they clearly wouldn't want to talk to me if I could."

A boy who looked like he was related to Fred and George asked the next question. "Did you really mean all that stuff you said to Umbridge the other day? Er, Ron Weasley, by the way."

So he was related to Fred and George. "I don't say stuff I don't mean kid."

"Do you know a lot about defensive spells?" the last boy asked.

"Name?"

"Harry Potter."

Ah, so _this_ was the one with a bad-guy after him. "Well, actually, I'm not a wizard at all. I do know about dangerous situations though."

Hermione gaped. "But if you're not a wizard, then how can you be here? There are wards up all around Hogwarts to prevent muggles from getting too near."

"I said I wasn't a wizard. I didn't say I was a muggle," he'd learned about the word in Durmstrang, and learned quickly.

"Isn't that kind of... impossible? To not be one or the other?" Ron asked, clearly confused.

Yusuke laughed. "Are centaurs, giants or vampires wizards and witches?" he asked.

"Not generally. Centaurs can use a type of magic, but they are classed as magical creatures. Giants don't do magic at all, and vampires are ... well, dark beings," Hermione answered.

"Think of me as something in much the same category," Yusuke said with a smirk.

"You look human to me," Harry said, though he had suddenly become vary wary.

"That is how I was born," Yusuke agreed, laughing in his mind as he left out the part about his deaths.

"I'm still confused," Ron said, shaking his head. "You're human but not a wizard _or_ a muggle?"

"I'm a foreigner," Yusuke pointed out. "And from where I come from, things are very different."

Before he returned to the Hufflepuff common room, he went to see Dumbledore again, about writing to the Ministry as a "concerned parent" regarding the appointment of Umbridge as Defence teacher.

~oOo~

Cornelius Fudge arrived at the school the next Monday for an interview with Yusuke Urameshi, not at all sure what to expect from the foreigner.

"I am to understand that you are not satisfied with the professor that the Ministry has provided?" he asked politely.

"Giving an important job like teaching kids how to defend themselves against they don't know what in the big wide world is not something that should just be handed over to your personal secretary because you feel nervous about who else has been applying for the position," Yusuke stated firmly.

"Dolores made her own application for the position, and Albus had clearly accepted it, or she would not be teaching at this time," Fudge said, trying to stay calm, but there was something about this foreigner that made him nervous, and not just that he was foreign.

"With your personal recommendation, which was somewhat insistent I expect. The good headmaster and I have talked about who he had wanted to hire for the position, before your letter arrived with Umbridge's application. Personally, I think he made a mistake in bowing to Ministerial pressure. Actually, I think he made a mistake bowing to public pressure when he allowed the werewolf to quit the job," Yusuke said.

Fudge's eyes bulged out of his head in shock.

"You would be more willing to have children taught by a monster than by a Ministry official who can impart all the correct information to them? You would be happy to risk the lives of the future of the wizarding community?" he demanded, clearly genuinely horrified at the idea.

"Yes," Urameshi stated. "The students who I have talked to all agree that he was a fine teacher. Interesting classes, the practical knowledge shall stay with them for quite some time, and they had less things to be afraid of by the end of the year because they had faced a pile of nasty things and been given a way to beat them."

"Why did you come here, Mr Urameshi?" Fudge asked, suspicions rising.

"To see if the only co-ed wizarding school was good enough for two of my kids, as I'm not so keen on separating them so that they can get their educations. I'm beginning to wonder if I wouldn't be better off hiring a tutor and having them home schooled," Yusuke said with a slight growl, his fangs becoming slightly more obvious.

Both Fudge and Dumbledore – who had sat in on the meeting as it was in his office – both paled slightly.

"W-what are you?" Fudge asked.

"I don't think you've heard of what I am Minister," Yusuke said with an evil little grin. "Like you have not allowed the muggle population to know of the magical one – another mistake I think – you have not been allowed to know, and I'm not going to tell you either."

At that moment, his communication mirror beeped, and he took it from his pocket.

"Hang on a sec," he said, flipping the device open. "What's up Koenma?"

"Yusuke, I've found some more information on Tom Riddle. He's been conducting some very forbidden practices, and left several anchors for his soul in Human World, so that he could pull himself back even after we thought we had closed the gates on him. You will need to find and destroy these anchors before you can kill this chap. I'm sending Hiei there via a portal to help you out with this, as I want it done quickly."

"Right," Yusuke said. "How long until he gets here?"

"Detective," Hiei's voice came from behind him.

"That's that then, see ya Koenma," Yusuke said, closing the mirror and turning to his friend. "You know what we're lookin' for?"

"Of course I do," Hiei answered. "Are you finished talking with these humans?"

"Huh?" Yusuke turned back to see Fudge and Dumbledore wide eyed and gaping like fish. "Oh, forgot about them. Minister Fudge, I want you to seriously reconsider your prejudices and paranoia, and get Umbridge off the staff, she's only hurting the kid's education. Okay, I'm done."

Hiei nodded, and led the way through the castle to where he could feel the soul anchors.

"I heard wrong, I must have heard wrong," Fudge was saying. "And there's no way that person just appeared there the way he did. Only ghosts go through walls, and they float and can be sort-of seen through. This day is not happening."

"I believe, Minister, that you're going to have to wake up from that cosy little dream you are trying to build for yourself. I have no idea what just happened, and I'm not comfortable with it, but the fact remains that it did just happen. Oh, and by the way, it was actually Peter Pettigrew, not Sirius Black, who betrayed the Potters and blew up the street with all those muggles on it."

Fudge fainted.

~oOo~

"We missed one before?"

"You're not going to like the last one Detective," Hiei said once they had destroyed a great number of inanimate objects around the castle and general country – Puu had been more than happy to fly them around, and they were headed back to Hogwarts now for the last of the anchors Riddle was using. "He's put it inside another person. Which is why I left it until last."

"Damn. So should we take him to Koenma?" Yusuke said suggested.

Hiei narrowed his eyes. "If I cannot extract the anchor from him and destroy it, then we are going to have to."

~oOo~

Harry didn't like the way the stranger was looking at him, as well as being in the company of the mysterious Yusuke Urameshi, who even if he didn't like Umbridge, could still have been working for Voldemort.

"Harry," Yusuke called, walking up to him. "This is a friend of mine, Hiei. I'm afraid he has to do something deeply uncomfortable to you."

"Why?" Hermione demanded sharply.

"Because if I leave the anchor that Riddle has placed in the boy, then he can continue to exist when he should be dead," the dark figure answered.

"What?" all three of the fifth years yelped.

"You're familiar with Tom Riddle, right?" Yusuke asked. "Otherwise known as Voldemort?"

All three of them flinched a little.

"Well, the reason he has been able to come back is because he left anchors for his soul here, so by destroying them, he has a harder time existing and one less way of coming back. Hiei and I have been very thoroughly getting rid of them, and the last one left is..." Yusuke trailed off.

"Attached to your soul," Hiei said, fixing his eyes on Harry's.

"So I have to die?" he asked.

Hiei shook his head. "I am going to attempt to remove the anchor from your soul without removing our soul, but it will hurt," he explained.

"Probably be a good idea to do this where no one is going to interrupt," Yusuke suggested.

Hiei nodded and turned, headed for the castle, picking out a room and ordering everybody inside. Once the door was locked, Hiei removed his cloak, shirt, and headband, taking on his full demon form for greater amplification of his powers, something he hadn't done for a very long time, something he hadn't needed to do for a very long time. He probably didn't need to do it now either, as he had more power than the last time he had used it, but this was going to be a delicate process.

Hermione screamed before clamping her hands over her mouth. Ron fainted. Harry stared in pure fright.

"I will erase your memories of me after I am done, if you would feel better forgetting," Hiei stated with a slight sneer as the Jagan on his forehead, and the various eyes all over his body, slowly opened.

He got no further response from anybody, and began the painful, painstakingly delicate extraction at once.

"It is done," he said, two hours later, a frothing pustule of sickly purple energy hovering over Hiei's hand before he incinerated it. "I suggest that you take your two friends to whatever medical aid you have in this place," Hiei instructed Hermione, the only one still conscious of the three Gryffendors at that point.

She nodded quickly, withdrew her wand, and levitated her two friends out the door.

"Case closed," Yusuke said. "Want a lift back home?"

"I will use a portal, thank you, and I doubt your assessment of this school is entirely complete yet," Hiei answered.

Yusuke shrugged. "I guess that's true."

~oOo~

Of course, it wasn't case closed. Destroying the anchors had meant that Riddle was mortal, but it hadn't killed the man, as Yusuke found out when the guy attempted to storm Hogwarts a week before the end of term. A week before Yusuke was going to leave.

At least the incompetent Umbridge had been replaced by the very competent team of Lupin and Moody. One an expert in spells, the other in beasts. A good combination, and Yusuke approved, as both were important to be able to defend against. That they were both on hand during the attack was also a bonus.

Yusuke let the fight go on without him for a while, watching what these people were capable of, before he levelled a hand and gathered a just a little bit of his demon energy and shot it through the middle of the ones attacking the school. It caused quite the bang.

All was still for a moment before a tall figure stepped forward through the mess Yusuke's attack had left in its wake.

"It's _him_," was whispered through the crowd of wizards and witches present.

Yusuke watched Harry step forward and aim his wand at the grown man.

"I am _not_ going to let that kid become a killer like I was forced to," Yusuke stated, mostly to himself, though others certainly heard him, and he marched up to the two figures, unnoticed by either one of them. He gathered more of his energy, both demon and spirit energy, into his fist, and grabbed Voldemort by his shoulder so that he definitely wouldn't be going anywhere.

Voldemort turned with a hiss, intent on killing whoever held him, but then Yusuke's fist was going through his chest like it was wet paper.

"Now there's my lesson," Yusuke told everybody who was watching. "There are more ways to do things than magic, and sometimes they work better."

He watched as Riddle's soul popped right out of his body, just as his own had done years ago, and was collected by a very different reaper than Botan. This chick at least was wearing dark colours.

"He'll probably be in denial," he told the girl, not caring that the people around him couldn't see who he was talking to. "But Koenma wants this one fast."

"You must be Yusuke," the ferry girl said to him. "Don't worry about a thing," she said, fixing a set of cuffs around Riddle's wrists. "_He_ is over-due. We've definitely got a place for _him_."

Yusuke laughed. Apparently Botan talked about him to her work mates.

Apart from Harry and his two friends, the general student body was moving away from him, eyes wide and staring. The faculty, who had started running up to him, all halted when they were level with the golden trio, staring themselves.

"What?" Yusuke asked, then looked at his hands. "Dammit, I need to clean up. Even Koto probably wouldn't want to get near me right now, and she loves this stuff."

"What are you?" Moody asked, an edge of frightened demand in his voice.

"I thought you said you were human," Ron quavered.

"Past tense kid," Yusuke said. "I was born human, yeah, but I'm not any more."

"Are you like him?" Harry demanded, pointing his wand at Vodemort's body.

Yusuke laughed. "Nah, I'm just Yusuke Urameshi, ass-kicker of evil with a healthy does of the good stuff and a general hatred of authority. Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go wash my hands. I swear this guy's blood stinks worse than Haukushin's breath."

~oOo~

Fred and George found him walking down the main steps with his bag over his shoulder on the last day of term.

"Oy mate, where are you going?" Fred asked.

"And how on earth did you fit everything into that one little bag without putting some kind of charm on it?" George added, staring at the bag.

Yusuke laughed. "I don't need much stuff," he answered with a grin. "As for where I'm going, how would you to like to see something not listed in any of your books?"

The twins grinned at the idea. They were always up for things that school didn't teach them, and were happy to follow Yusuke around the castle.

The giant blue bird was something of a surprise to them both.

"Hey Puu," Yusuke greeted the bird, reaching up to pat the creature, which in turn lowered its head accommodatingly. "These two are Fred and George Weasely," he said, turning to introduce his spirit beast to the twins. "Boys, this is Puu."

"He how you got here?" they both asked together.

Yusuke nodded. "Well, I didn't take the train."

All four of them – including Puu – laughed.

"What do you think of Hogwarts then?"

"I reckon in a few years it can expect my twins to show up," Yusuke answered with a grin.

"We will be most honoured, Mr Urameshi," Dumbledore said, appearing around the corner of the castle. "Thank you, by the way, for saving Harry from having to dispatch Riddle, though I admit, it did upset the prophecy that was made so long ago."

"Didn't know there was a prophecy, but upsetting higher powers is a little hobby of mine," Yusuke said, scratching the side of his nose and smiling. "Well, I think it's time for me to go home, take care," he added with a wave before jumping up onto Puu's back.

The giant bird screeched and spread it's wings, a smile on its beak as it took to the air.

"Wicked," the Weasley twins breathed as they watched.

~oOo~

"Daddy!" Four small bodies yelled as Puu landed in the front yard of Genkai's temple. The smallest of them tottered a bit before falling onto his bottom with a happy chuckle. Keiko stood just behind him, little Genkai in her arms.

"Welcome home Yusuke."

"There you all are! Have you been good for your mother?" Yusuke asked his kids, sweeping the three who had reached him up in his arms and letting them clamber over him.

"Yes Daddy!" Kazu answered.

"Of course we have!" Rin added.

"I'm teaching Shibi how to punch like you Dad!" Jin said proudly.

"Oh yeah? How are you going with that?" Yusuke asked his oldest son, smiling at the kid.

"Shibi's still got soft hands," Jin answered.

The family laughed together.

"Has anybody else been to visit while I was gone?" Yusuke asked Keiko as the kids dragged him inside.

"Uncle Kurama and Aunt Koto came with the cubs," she answered, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before their own brood dragged him too far for her to catch up. "And I got a message from Jin, he'll be over to see his god-children in a few days, and to try and fight with you again of course. How was the last school?"

Yusuke smiled. "Rin and Jin will love it," he said. "And even if they are wearing robes, it's the least stupid of all the uniforms."

Keiko laughed. "That's great. They're doing well in elementary school right now too. One and two in their class. Of course, Kaito has been helping with their homework," she said, smiling fondly. "I am almost willing take them out of school and just ask him to teach them, but I know he's got a regular job as well," she added, "and regular school records are important."

Yusuke nodded. "I'm glad they take after you in the brains department Keiko," he told her.

~oOo~

That's all there is, there isn't any more.


	2. omake

The problem with being a neutral referee in a fight, Koto had long known, was that to the fighters you were rarely actually neutral. She was held accountable for taking the ten-count that lost them the match, she was blamed for not stepping in to take the ten-count when it could have saved a team-mate's life, and worst of all she was blamed for the decisions of the committee. Getting taken out of the ring and put into the commentary box was a positive move. Even if it did take her further away from that wonderful pain, at least it also got her out of the danger zone as well.

She was still remembered for all the things she had done in the ring though, and being a demon celebrity wasn't all it was cracked up to be. If you were famous in Demon World, it was either because you were really powerful or lots of people wanted to kill you, sometimes both. Some prime examples of the "both" category were Urameshi, Hiei and the great yoko, Kurama. Unfortunately for her, Koto only fell into the "lots of people wanted to kill her" category. She was great at her job, but few demons remembered that when they thought about her.

Just because she had survived many near-death experiences didn't make her strong after all. It was quite the opposite actually, she was about as far down the "weak" scale as a demon could get. The only thing she had in her favour was some speed and – despite a streak of what had been called sadism and masochism by the many misinformed, but was really just a slightly extreme case of schadenfreude – a whole tonne of good sense. She knew when in a fight she needed to run, and she knew when as a referee she was both required to step in and the moments it was safe to do so. Good judgement, more than anything, had kept her alive.

Right now, that same life-preserving judgement was telling her to get – and stay – the hell out of Demon World. This was a tactic she employed as often as she wasn't being employed by somebody else to oversee, referee or commentate upon big and well-paying fight tournaments. Keeping the defenceless vixen safe was, after all, what security was for, and during fights the combatants were mostly and mercifully focused only on each other, so she just had to dodge stray fireballs and exuberant fists really. Staying at least a metre and a half away from both fighters at all times generally helped as well.

Being a low-class demon meant that the barrier between the Human and Demon worlds while a bother, wouldn't actually prevent her crossing. Once she had crossed, however, there was the issue of her very obvious and equally non-human characteristics; tail, whiskers, complete lack of shell-like ear in favour of her fox-ears. It wouldn't be strange in the Spirit World, but while they employed ogres and the such, they weren't so keen on her kind.

She could just wear a hat over her ears, clip her whiskers, and wear long coats or skirts over her tail, but that was just really uncomfortable, not to mention unreliable as a safety measure.

Koto looked at her tail and sighed. Final option it was then. No more hot meals for her, she had all of one trick up her sleeve besides being good at running away, the same trick every fox demon and fox spirit had: transformation. No, she couldn't become any more human than she was at that moment, but she could go on all fours without a problem, and as she wasn't powerful enough to have multiple tails, anybody would think her a regular, if particularly intelligent, golden-brown fox.

Not that the life of a regular fox was all that fantastic either, but it wasn't as dangerous as being head-hunted in Demon World.

Then again, thankfully few things _were_ that dangerous and terrifying.

Koto sighed and, as she stepped out of the transit zone into Human World, transformed quickly before ducking off the road she had exited near and into the nearest collection of trees that seemed to last for long enough to be at least a proper wood if not actually a forest.

Sufficiently far from the road Koto was fortunate enough to find a dry, sandy bank, and started to dig out a nest for herself. Normally, she'd rather find a burrow of some other creature to inhabit, but she hadn't even smelled any other ground-dwelling creatures since she got here, so making do for herself was going to have to be it.

By the time the last vestiges of light had disappeared from the sky, Koto had enough of a hole to sleep in comfortably, and proceeded to do so, hidden from the sight of the world, at least for now.

~oOo~

He had been very careful to clear the area of all possible threats, possible meals for threats down the line, as well as to capture every blasted rabbit in the area and fill in nearly all of the holes of their warren. If the creatures were allowed to continue living in the area, then other creatures would be drawn by them, or by the comparative safety of their ... newly vacated warren.

The reason? His mate was going into a heat, not a position common for the top in their relationship, but Hiei was going to enjoy his fox begging to be impaled while it lasted, and furthermore he was going to make sure the kittens when they appeared – and they would, Kurama had guaranteed it when the heat had begun and they had gone through the embarrassing explanation of fox-demon genetics – had a safe, all-natural environment to enter the world in. That meant a fox's den in a wooded area, and in the Human World.

It was ready, and just in time. Kurama would be arriving from Genkai's temple any second –

"Hiei?"

Hiei smiled slightly and turned towards the voice, smelling his mate just as he saw the flash of silver hair and golden eyes in the disappearing light. Kurama couldn't maintain his human form comfortably while he was in heat – it had to do with female body parts developing where they had previously not been, something that his yoko form – and strangely, also his full fox form – was capable of adapting to, but his human form ... no.

"Here Kurama," he called gently back.

Kurama's yoko form appeared through the trees, taller than his human form, more powerful and deadly, but still the soul that he loved.

He looked around at the cleared space, at the rabbits that were strung up and cooking over a fire, at the many holes that had been filled in and the one which had been widened drastically, all in readiness for him.

"You're so good to me Hiei," Kurama said, draping his arms around his mate. "I don't deserve someone like you."

Hiei wrapped his arms around the very much taller figure's waist.

"You're stuck with me anyway," Hiei chuckled, falsely malicious, "and you know perfectly well that it's the other way around."

Kurama chuckled deeply. "Hm, how's the den?" he asked, looking over at the hole in the sandy bank.

"The door is a bit of a tight fit, but I made sure it was roomy inside," Hiei answered, nuzzling against his mate's chest. "Would you like to see?"  
Kurama nodded and, with a lusty smile that Hiei knew very well, drew him to the entrance and pushed him through first. He transformed into a fox and slipped in with greater ease before standing up properly once again inside the cavern.

"You really only used the rabbit hole as a starting place?" Kurama said, struck from his lust momentarily by his awe, though the glint returned to his eyes quickly. "What a strong, considerate mate I have," he practically purred out, reaching for Hiei once again.

~oOo~

Koto yawned and stepped out of her less than comfortable hole – serviceable, yes, comfortable, no – and stretched in the dawn light. Many normal foxes came out at dusk and returned to their holes in the dawn light, but she was used to sunlight, and she enjoyed basking too much to want to give it up just yet.

She could and would ease herself into regular fox-habits, but for now she wanted her breakfast.

After three hours of searching for things hit by the side of the road, birds nests that might be near the ground, and the burrows of tiny rodents such as mice, Koto found herself resorting to nuts and berries. She liked them, but a little meat might have been nice. It just figured she would find herself somewhere that's wildlife had all cleared out.

Though from the looks of that mouse-hole, she wondered if something hadn't cleared them out.

The fire smell that hung around, despite there being no sign whatsoever of any fire damage to the trees, also concerned her.

Still, the nuts and berries were plentiful, and she did like them ... and if there were no other animals in the area then she was safe, she supposed.

"Just my luck of course," she mumbled to herself as she headed back to her hole, dragging a broken branch from a fir tree by her teeth, intending to line her little hole in the hopes of making it more comfortable.

She'd just finished lining her 'nest' when her stomach rumbled again.

"Living off berries when I have the teeth for meat!" she moaned heading over to the nearest berry-laden shrub. "Doesn't matter," Koto admitted to herself as she ate. "I probably wouldn't be able to catch anything faster than these if I tried anyway."

Spying a particularly juicy looking berry out of her reach, Koto tried the traditional way of getting it – up on her rear legs, using her tail for balance. She wasn't going to transform, that would use her energy, announce her presence, and leave her with a larger stomach to fill. Still, she couldn't reach it, and fell back onto her forepaws again.

"Kinda wish I'd paid more attention when Mama was talking about how to do the plant bit," she sighed mournfully, her sea-green eyes still fixed on the berry.

Koto sat up straighter as what had just escaped her mouth registered with her brain.

"Not likely to hurt if I try ... I hope."

Waving her tail at the branch and extending a paw to the base of the plant, Koto willed the branch to lower, hoping she was doing it right. Not that she had any idea. She'd always been chasing butterflies and watching the way her little brothers fought, rather than give any attention to the knowledge her mother had tried to pass on.

Half an hour later, the branch had not lowered, and the berry was no closer to her mouth than before. Still, at least it wasn't any further away either. Koto whimpered slightly, but mourning her situation wasn't about to improve it. She stared at the berry a while longer though.

~oOo~

It was nice, just relaxing with Kurama in their den, no missions, no humans, no threats, just the two of them.

"I'm going to get fat," Kurama pouted as Hiei fed him strips of rabbit.

"I thought that was part of pregnancy," Hiei teased lightly, and stole a kiss before holding up the next piece of rabbit over his love's mouth.

"Yes, I suppose," Kurama answered.

"And you are looking forward to having kits just as much as I am, aren't you?" Hiei asked. "Little bundles of proof that we love each other, and that can grow up and become the most frightening apparitions that Demon World has ever seen."

Kurama chuckled. "Yes Hiei, I just wish I didn't have to become such a lump as part of the procedure."

Hiei scoffed. "You are incapable of being anything less than sexuality personified," he stated firmly. "You ooze sensuality, and your eyes always burn with that cold, deadly knowledge that you _know_ gets me hot. Kurama, I'm no more likely to ever be put off by any aspect of your physical appearance than Koenma is likely to win the Demon World Tournament."

Kurama laughed at the image of Koenma fighting demons, then sighed in contentment. "You always know what to say to make me feel better Hiei," Kurama said, stroking the wild black hair affectionately. "I love you."

"I love you too, and if you don't stop that, you're going to feel how much," the fire demon said, laying a hand over Kurama's arm, heat rising in his eyes under the gentle touch of his mate.

"Promises," Kurama teased, not halting the motion. "I want to feel it."

Hiei's mouth was pressed against Kurama's as soon as the words left his mouth, causing the yoko to moan deeply in gratitude and wrap his arms around the smaller demon's neck.

That was that until noon and Hiei left his sleeping mate in their den, intending to find something other than rabbit to supplement their diet. Even his fox needed more than meat alone.

He stopped when he felt the weak flare of demon energy. It was almost too little to bother with, but something so weak could attract predators, just as the mice, voles and shrews would have done, and it was best to clear out such things at once, before they could attract trouble.

The tiny whimpering caught his ear, closer than he had expected, and the fire demon looked over the berry bush at the creature that had made the sound.

A fox?

Oh great, just what Kurama didn't need right now. If there was another fox in the area, it was a threat to their kittens, and if it was a demon fox then so much the more trouble.

He reached down and quickly grabbed the creature by the scruff of its neck as Kurama had said he might have to with their offspring, and brought it up to eye level.

"You picked the wrong woods to make a home in," he informed the animal.

"Yeah, I'm kinda starting to get that," the fox answered, looking him straight in the eye. "And I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't hold me with your dragon-hand."

Hiei was surprised. He had supposed that this fox was a demon fox, he had felt the demon energy after all, but he had not expected it to be a female, or for its voice to be vaguely familiar. He sure as hell hadn't expected it to know about his dragon.

"Who are you?" he demanded. "What is your business here?"

"Just trying to stay alive," the vixen yelped fearfully. "Though I get the feeling my chances are going down rapidly right now."

Hiei growled. "You, whoever you are, are coming with me. Your life hangs at the mercy of my mate right now."

"Gotcha," the vixen said shaking slightly.

~oOo~

Koto couldn't believe her luck, though whether it was good or bad was yet to be decided. Her first serious attempt at plant manipulation had not only failed, but seemed to have also drawn the terrifying fire demon _Hiei_, who was clearly unhappy to see her in the area.

With a gulp, she realised he must have been the one to clear all the other creatures out of the wood as well. She could only hope she would be released to find somewhere else to hide from Demon World, and not killed for invading his territory.

As they approached a hole in the ground, a scent rose up to tickle Koto's nose. A scent that made her panic.

"No! Put me down! Please don't make me go in there! I have enough demons after my head, I don't want them after my tail as well! No! Please!" she cried, struggling against the grip Hiei had on her scruff. "I'll go as far away as you like but don't take me in there!"

Her cries roused the occupant of the hole however, and a sleek, droopy-eyed, five-tailed silver fox emerged and transformed, revealing a sleepy looking, and still utterly sexy, Kurama.

"Hiei, what's going on?" the silver yoko asked.

"I found it while I was looking for berries and checking for any potential threats moving in on the area. If it was a regular fox I'd have relocated it, but it isn't so I thought you might like to pass judgement," her captor answered, holding her up.

Koto continued to cry.

"No, please! I don't want to! Please let me go!"

"I suggest that you transform," Kurama instructed cooly. "It isn't flattering for you to be hanging from your scruff like that."

Koto wimpered. "But then my belly would be even emptier," she said quietly, small tears running through her fur.

"It was not a request," the ancient, powerful demon said, a growl in his voice and showing a glint of his fangs.

Koto sniffed miserably again and did as she was told, dropping to the ground when she no longer had a scruff for the fire demon to hold her by, glad that she had enough energy that her clothes had stayed with her despite the changes.

"So much for living," she murmured quietly, not looking up at the two immensely powerful demons.

~oOo~

Kurama stared down at the referee and commentator of the Dark Tournament in some shock.

"Hiei," he said nervously, "you aren't thinking of replacing me with her are you?" he quavered.

Hiei immediately glued himself to Kurama's side and reached down to stroke his tail.

"Why would you even think that?" he asked. "You know I love you. My thought was that as one of your kind it was your place to pass judgement on her invasion of the territory, rather than mine."

"You mean it? You don't care about her? You're not going to take her as your mate instead of me? Promise?"

Hiei chuckled. "Kurama, what is she going to do to satisfy me? You know it's only since you've been in heat that I've been on top, and you almost always get inside me somehow anyway," the fire demon whispered. "Besides, you're my mate, my very soul belongs to you, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You know that surely?"

Kurama relaxed at that. "I'm sorry, hormonal insecurity. I know you wouldn't leave me."

"Please, I am weak and have no mate to protect me if I go into heat," Koto pleaded. "Either take me as a second mate or _let me leave_."

Hiei jerked. "Second mate?" he asked, looking up at his fox for clarification. He had never heard of such a thing before.

"It would solve a few problems if we did actually," Kurama said. "How do we explain to regular humans that two men were able to have children after all? If we claim her as a second mate, things would start getting more regular-canine. Miss Koto would never go into heat as long as I am capable, would care for our kittens, and benefit from the safety we can offer her."

"Much sacrifice and little reward," Hiei observed dryly. "What is your situation, that you would suggest such to us?" he demanded.

"I am a weak demon," Koto said. "I have only speed and sense, but in Demon World I am famous. Famous for defending someone who was in no condition to defend himself, famous for giving ten-counts too soon and too late. So many wish me dead, and I am without a powerful employer to keep me safe at this time."

Kurama and Hiei looked at each other when Koto was finished speaking.

"It is your choice Kurama," Hiei said softly. "She is your kind, yours to judge. If you like the idea, then I will support you. If you want her gone, then I shall remove her for you, as far away as I can make it while still being able to return to you before the sun sets."

Kurama nodded.

"Koto, you may be a second mate to us," Kurama said, his golden eyes analysing her. "I will also train you in the use of your demon energy. You will be required to care for my kits when they arrive, I will not permit defencelessness."

Koto bowed her head in submission.

"Whatever you will," she said, calmer now. She hadn't really wanted a mate, but these two... it was no secret that she thought the silver yoko attractive, and Hiei wasn't a bad catch either. As a second mate though, she was unlikely to get much from either of them, it was more like being adopted as their sister, only not, as if they wanted they could still include her for sex. Unlikely, considering the energy those two shared.

Kurama nodded and turned, flicking his tail as he transformed ducking back into the den. Hiei followed without a backwards glance at the vixen. Koto gathered her shot nerves and transformed herself as well to slip into the hole, and was amazed to see how spacious it was on the inside.

"Come," Kurama ordered. "If you aren't marked soon, you will go into heat from my scent."

Koto nodded and transformed herself back into the human-like form, her stomach rumbling in protest at being so empty, but this had to happen first.

The pleasure they gave her was amazing, she barely noticed when they bit into her shoulders, carved their names onto her back with their claws, and licked the blood away.

Koto smiled as she lost consciousness, vaguely aware that the two males were now beginning to copulate once more, this time without her, re-solidifying that they truly belonged to each other, body and soul. After all, she was just an extra, practically a servant to whatever they needed her to be, but they were the kinds of demons who would still respect her as her own being, and keep her safe.

~oOo~


End file.
